The Shoe's On The Other Foot: Feeling the Sellers' Pain

Empathy is one thing.  But actually experiencing what my clients go through has been a total revelation.  I have new appreciation for my clients’ angst while placing a home on the market for sale and looking for a new one.  The process is making me a better agent, but --- OUCH!  It is really painful!

Making the decision

Our home of almost ten years has been comfortable and we’ve loved it, but the time was ripe for a change.  My wife and I explored a renovation; we worked with a designer to analyze our needs and taste, put the project out to bid, submitted plans to our coop’s managing agent and negotiated with the building’s architect/engineer.  After all that, we realized that the expense and annoyance might not be worth it.  Jeez – we were frustrated and annoyed at the tortoise pace and red tape of even these preliminary steps.  What would it be like for the four of us (and our dog and cat) to live in a construction site and to breathe dust and to share one bathroom for months?  Perhaps now was the right time to move.

Getting “buy in”

The entire family needs to be on board.  Sounds easy, right?

Staging a home requires hard work.  Going through the things we’ve accumulated and saved over the years is nostalgic, but is time consuming.  Touching, evaluating, sorting, organizing, storing, discarding and tidying are hard work.  Emotionally, saying goodbye to one’s “stuff” is like discarding old friends.  What if one (unnamed) family member refuses to participate, saying that he does not want to move?  Don’t ask…

Prepping for sale

Once the decision is made to sell, your property is no longer a home but rather a product to be merchandised.  The little projects that you’ve put off need to be tackled immediately.  It was fine to live with our home’s minor imperfections, but it is absolutely unacceptable to place a home on the market if there are broken doorknobs, dirty windows, scuff marks, lots of family photos, furniture placement that impedes “flow”, personalized art work, a missing medicine cabinet mirror and inadequate lighting.  Excuse me, we still live here!

Showing

The moment we’ve been waiting for:  the first Open House.  Everything is put away in its (new) proper place.  Closets are organized.  The kitchen and bathrooms sparkle.  Clutter (and personality) are gone.  Fresh flowers are gorgeous.  Cookies are baked and the smell is delicious.

Will buyers show up?  What will they think?

I recall a similar feeling at college mixers.  Will she talk to me if I introduce myself?  Will she dance with me if I ask?  The anxiety is real.  We are all self-conscious when we’re being evaluated and judged.  Somehow when buyers are looking at our home, the stakes seem yet higher.

What do we do with our dog during showings, and where do we take him for a couple of hours during Open Houses?  How much notice do we really need to vacate for showings?  Do we need to keep our home in pristine, showable condition 24/7?  Logistics are worrisome.

Feedback

It’s hard not to take it personally when others don’t appreciate what we’re offering.  We recognized the value and saw the possibilities when we shopped for homes way back when.  Will others recognize that our renovations were made with 4 inch nails rather than 2 inch nails making our home better than the one down the block?  First floor might not offer views, but it is silent and great for sleeping.  We’re less expensive with a better lay out than the one upstairs with views.  Trade offs, and value.

Negotiating the sale

A buyer, or two, finally come forward.  Their qualifications are ok; no one is a slam dunk any more when it comes to Board qualifications. The offers are less than ask.  We go back and forth a few times, but it is a game of chicken.  Who has nerves for this?  Do we settle or hold out for the last dime?  Are we ready to move on with our lives?

Careful what you wish for

We settle with one of the buyers.  The lawyers flex their muscles and trade jabs but eventually iron out the language of a contract.  The buyer’s lawyer uses his microscope, scalpel and tweezers to thoroughly dissect our coop’s finances and Board minutes.  The building passes inspection, the buyer signs and it is now our turn.  Do we pull the trigger?

Where do we go?

If we decide to proceed, we have to move.  Somewhere.  All of us, including the animals.  Will we find a suitable place at a price we can afford?  Will it be a good deal?  How will we time and coordinate our move?  After all, we need the proceeds of our sale to complete a purchase and our current home needs to be vacant in order to close on it.  How will this work out?  I know it will, but how?

Moral of the story

Selling is painfully hard.  Buying is also hard, but I’ll discuss feeling a buyer’s pain in next month’s column.  Moving requires constant reminders about the benefits of the end results.  A good broker acts like a shrink, a coach, a wet nurse and a slave worker.  Keep your eye on the prize, be patient, remember that there are no short cuts.  Work with someone you trust and someone who will empower you.  The move will be worth it!

Manhattan Real Estate / Michael Shapot / Keller Williams NYC